To elaborate

I've started readingJapundit (it's no Gothamist, but I supposed it'll do), and today there was a link to an article on Japanese sexual "practice." I know the phrase "Japanese sexual practice" brings all sorts of images to mind (*ahem* Fuji), so read the article before you continue reading this blog entry.

The reason I bring it up is not only because the information is shocking (and yes, I realize not everyone in Japan has such an unhealthy attitude toward sex but... only 45 times a year!?!), but also because I find the *approach* of the article itself disturbing. Obviously there are physical dangers/issues to consider, but... forget unhealthy attitudes about sex, what about unhealthy attitudes about relationships?! For a society that's supposedly "group-oriented," they don't seem too terribly interested in interacting with each other, do they?

Dr. Kitamura's concern is somewhat related to the falling birthrate. After all, you can't make babies without having (successful) sex (well, you can, but it's much more expensive than the traditional method). But maybe Japan's current population problem isn't just related to sexual practice (and employment practice - apparently many career women opt not to have children because they could essentially be fired for it... or be penalized some other way). Seems pretty clear to me that if people aren't interested in interacting with each other, they aren't going to want to interact with children, even if they're their own (actually this is depicted fairly often in contemporary literature - the family that doesn't exist/never existed, the absent parents, etc). To be honest, I wouldn't want to bring a child into a world where people have such attitudes anyway.

Kitamura doesn't really address this issue. He mentions it as a possible cause, but he doesn't say it's unhealthy behaviour. If you can give me an argument for the inability and lack of desire to interact with people being *healthy,* I'll... not give you a hug. I guess it brings into question what exactly the role of a doctor is but, if he deals with domestic violence, his concerns can't be solely physical. Besides, how is telling someone who prefers masturbation to intercourse nothing more than "too much masturbation will inhibit your physical ability to have successful intercourse" going to encourage him to change his habits?

And can I just say that Kitamura's claim about marriage at 14/15 is *ridiculous.* People in developed countries don't do that (for the most part), but they aren't as badly off as Japan... as far as I've heard. Besides, what, is he advocating marriage at 14/15?! Hmm... I guess it would be better than enjo kosai. Oh, I definitely want this guy advising my friends and family and me, not to mention training people. (Yes, that's sarcasm.)

I've been doing reading for my post-poop paper, and... it's getting very hard to maintain perspective. Because the more I read, the more I'm convinced that Japan today is really really messed up. Okay, to be fair, I think people everywhere are messed up, but my impression is that no one (at least no one in power in Japan) is doing anything productive.

I think everyone needs a great big, long, squeezey hug. And then maybe they'd remember how good it feels to *know* people.
That's one of the (few) things I've loved about my schooldays. I remember in middle school, there was a group of kids (I wasn't a "member," just on the periphery) who always hugged whenever one met another in the hallway. Always. It became such a visible practice that the school "outlawed" hugging. The thing was that these were kids who were "misfits" in some way, and looking back it makes perfect sense. They hugged because they lived day-to-day feeling that they may never see each other again. And they hugged because they needed to feel loved, maybe in order to love themselves. I think that was terribly important, particularly as it was middle school, and who likes himself in middle school? I remember becoming friends with Stefanie, and I remember being surprised and not knowing how to react at first when she touched me. But soon it became one of my favourite things about her, and I still owe her a great deal of gratitude for opening up my mind and my eyes to the healing and therapeutic nature of physical contact. So now while I'm in this hug deficient, loving, contentedly nostalgic state of mind, I would like to share (in no particular order) some of my favourite physical memories of friends:

• Stefanie - the way she would pet me under the chin; her hand on my shoulder as we bridesmaids helped her into her wedding dress


• Sasha (of course) - squealing "Sasha!" *every* time I saw him and being abruptly swept off the ground in a lung-crushing hug


• Darren - leaning into each other on the sofa, many different sofas; walking arm-in-arm, like that evening he returned from the SVC trip; sleeping side-by-side on the rooftop in Chicago


• Don - the way one arm wrapped all the way around my waist; being thrown over his shoulder


• Alex - the Master of Hugs, such that I could feel his heart beating and veins pulsing with blood


• Tammy - holding hands/hugging, as children, as adults, as sisters every time we meet


• Joy - possessively, protectively holding me close whenever we'd go out; clinging to my leg whenever she did something "wrong"


• Aileen - her having to bend down and me having to stand on tiptoe for hugs


• Benton - the sensation of mass and energy transmitted through any kind of physical contact; playing with his hair


• Deepa - holding hands so we wouldn't lose each other in the crowd; sharing the bed in the guest room at her parents' house


• Rebecca - dancing togther at her birthday party, my hand on the curve of her back; studying while lying with my head on her stomach


• Fuji - falling asleep on him after Poker; poking each other's fat ^_^

End.