I didn't get in

In case you hadn't heard yet, I didn't get into Brown for 2008.

The bad news is I have a whole 'nother year of applying. I have to take the MCAT; I have to take Orgo lab. I have to take an MCAT-prep course, pay thousands of dollars in application fees, and *if I'm lucky* stress over many more interviews. I have to find a job for the next year and hope it's enough to make me competitive with all the other standard admits despite my poor undergrad GPA.

The good news is I have another year in New York, particularly in Queens. I'll hopefully get a new, exciting job for the next year. And I won't have to worry about starting school at the same time as my sister's wedding. I'll get more use out of that suit I bought. Actually, maybe I'm a step ahead, having already filled out the AMCAS and dealt with an interview. Maybe maybe.

I guess I'm just kind of shocked. I thought my chances were so good, but ... it's funny. After being so pessimistic and misanthropic all through high school and college, I thought I had finally relaxed. I was optimistic and hopeful; I had such a good feeling every time I went to Brown. And it felt so good to feel so positive for, like, the first time in my life.

And then it didn't work out.

Oh well, I have to hold on to that feeling. I know it will work out in the end. Brown just wasn't meant to be, and I have to admit, I'd like to move. As much as I like New York, I'm just not an East coast person I think. And I think I've realized that after being here for the past 7 years (more or less). Plus the experience of working for a year will definitely benefit me. If I can find something good, I can definitely see being super-excited about it. So...

We'll see.

Shaken

The house has been trembling a lot for the past few days. I don't know if it's the construction in the neighbourhood, or the traffic, or maybe even some strong winds in this late winter/early spring weather. When I first felt it I was lying in bed. I flashed back to my apartment in Japan and the middle of the night tremors. It had been wondrous, exhilarating. I suppose my unfamiliarity with and the novelty of an earthquake overcame my fear. It was pleasing to just lie there in the dark, with my eyes open, and *feel* it.

It's different, awake and on your feet. Here the trembling is mildly annoying. Things rattle and shake, and it gets distracting. I was in a music store in Harajuku the first time I felt an earthquake while awake. *That* was completely disorienting! It wasn't terrifying exactly, but I suddenly realized how much I take the "solid ground" for granted.

What other things do we take for granted?

We're captive on the carousel of time.

In loving memory of Joo Hwa Chu. Another casualty of cancer.

May her strong will and tenacious spirit inspire for generations to come.
Best of luck to the three daughters she leaves behind, as they carry on her cause and glorify her memory. For as long as I have known A, I have watched her dealing with her mother's illness. And in the short time I have known A, I have been assured that she has inherited her mother's strength.

My sincerest condolences to Ms. Chu's family. May they find strength and comfort in their friends and loved ones.

夢

Last night I dreamt I went back to Japan. Just picked up and left at the last minute. I returned to Sakura Heights, Horie-san showed me to my room, and she and I chit-chatted. I was so happy, so excited, so eager to be back, and this time nothing was going to get me down. I was ready.

Spent

It feels like a lot has happened and yet not much at all. I'm feeling really spent.

B and I went to Cape Charles, VA for a few days. His friends from grad school rented a house for a few days, and it was so cheap and there was so much extra room, that they invited us down. It was relaxing. Being the off-season, Cape Charles was completely dead, we rarely saw another person (the ones we did were really local). In fact almost everything in town was closed on Tuesday, except for a restaurant in what the locals call "Jelly Bean Jungle" - the luxury, marina neighbourhood on the water filled with pastel-coloured McMansions.

I've been so looking forward to spring break for the past few weeks. I've already read two books, on top of having the little vacation in VA. But now I have to catch up on schoolwork, do my taxes, apply for financial aide... There's always something, right?

But I'm feeling restless these days, eager to get away. That urge to escape I so often felt in college. But I haven't the means to get away and so much to do in the meantime. Blah. Maybe it will pass.

Not even 25 yet

I found my first grey hair today.

Very exciteen.

31. Ohio

I would have added it sooner, but I thought it was already on the list.

On the road

Today I saw a bumper sticker that read "Warning: Under the influence of Julie Andrews."
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Did I miss something? I don't get it.

1. New York


2. New Jersey


3. Pennsylvania


4. Connecticut


5. Delaware


6. Virginia


7. Maine


8. North Carolina


9. Georgia


10. Florida


11. Louisiana


12. Texas


13. Michigan


14. Minnesota


15. California


16. Ontario


17. South Carolina


18. Massachusetts


19. Rhode Island


20. Vermont


21. British Columbia


22. Illinois


23. Oklahoma


24. Arizona


25. Arkansas


26. Indiana


27. Colorado


28. Washington D.C.


29. New Brunswick


30. New Hampshire