Update

Saturday, February 25th.
I left my apartment at about 10:15am on Saturday morning. There was traffic due to construction, so it was a good thing I left so early. Because I wasn't feeling so hot, I decided to shell out 3200JPY for an airport limousine bus from Chofu Eki to Narita (the same bus I put my sister on). The airport bus arrived late at Chofu Eki, but no big deal for me, as my flight wasn't 'til 5:20pm.
So I got to airport at about 2/2:30pm. I wandered around the airport awhile, as the check-in counter was open yet. There are observation decks at the airport actually, which was really really cool. It was cold and windy up there, but the view was great, and of course it wasn't nearly as crowded as inside the airport, where everyone just wanders around looking for more ways to spend money (I don't understand how people can *always* be spending money... I felt guilty enough for wasting money on the bus instead of taking the trains!).
Around 3:30 I joined the line of Continental customers, checked in, and went on in to my gate. Part of my reason for being *so* early was that I was just so excited and eager to be on my way - to see the juggling show, to see Brett on his birthday - I couldn't stand sitting around my apartment... as opposed to sitting around the airport. ^_~
Boarding was supposed to being at 4:40, but at 5:05, people were still standing around, and nothing had been said. They finally announced the mechanical repairs were taking longer than expected. After another 10 minutes, they boarded business class, then said "everybody else!" There was a mad rush for everyone to board at once, but somehow it worked. Everyone quickly filed in and sat down; they shut the doors and we were off.
We landed right on time in Newark at 4pm (still February 25th). I hoofed it through customs and arrived at the RailLink station in time for the 4:30 NEC train to Trenton. Amazing! I was on campus at 5:32pm, an hour before I'd planned. ^_^
Deepa (the only person on campus who knew I was coming) wasn't in her room yet, so I stopped by 2D, had a bowl of blueberries and surprised Mark. When Deepa got home, I went to her place, showered, we then headed to Frist for some dinner before the

JUGGLING SHOW.
It was *awesome*. It was the first show I'd seen from the audience of course, and omigod. It was so cute and clever - the costumes, the silliness, the jokes, the short films, and the juggling! Everyone has improved so much! Seems like forever since I last saw them (or anyone) juggle. And I'm still so amazed by Julia. She's so talented. ^_^ I don't legitimately have any particular claim to her, but I like to sigh and say "Awwww... that's *MY* roommate."
Oh. And of course the *best* part of the whole thing was
coming up to the balcony backstage before the show. Of course no one was expecting me. And I poked Julia in the side, and she turned around and saw me and... Oh man. I wish my camera batteries hadn't died at that moment. of course I was so overwhelmed, I wouldn't have been able to take a picture anyway. Man those were the best hugs I've received *ever*. Julia, Sean, Ed, Geza, Darren, Sasha, Chrissy, Ryan, Lev... god who *wasn't* there?! (Sorry, Jacob. :-( )
Oh it was so amazing, and my heart was racing, and during the whole show, I was on the edge of my seat... Actually, I wasn't even in my seat. I was kneeling on the floor with chin resting on the balcony railing. My face was hurting so much by the time Darren and Deepa were walking me to the Dinky after the show. It was like that summer I visited Darren in Chicago and he met me in the airport, and we couldn't say anything we were smiling so hard. ^_^
I do wish I could have stayed for the after-party, but I was also eager to see Brett for his birthday.

I got to Penn Station at about 11:45pm (still February 25th). 15 minutes of his birthday left. He met me at Penn Station and told me all about his birthday celebrations (including his first trip to shooting range); we dropped my bag off at his apartment then met the band at a bar. We didn't hang out too long though, as I was so exhausted and we still had more birthday celebrations the next day, so we went home.

Only, I was *so* tired and still so jittery from all the excitement, that I couldn't fall asleep 'til 7am! Ah~ vacation. ^_^

Recycling

Took the trash out this afternoon. Finally.
While I was down there, I saw a stack of books in the paper recycling pile. On closer inspection, the top two turned out to be The Joy Luck Club and Things Fall Apart. I'm not positive that paper-pick-up day necessarily means "paper recycling," but it sure seemed a shame to let two books in good condition go out with the rest of the "gomi." I mean, recycling is better than throwing out is better than burning, but... once a book, it should stay a book, right? Something sad and... wrong about melting down (or however paper recycling works) a book and turning it into, I don't know, toilet paper. (The other books in the pile were study guides, which somehow don't seem as sacred as novels.) At any rate,
Score! Books for free! I've always felt I should read these anyway.

Today's exam wasn't *too* too bad. Much better than yesterday's test in fact. Part of it is that reading kanji is so much easier than writing them. In fact, I think that was the easiest part of the test. Phil and I were discussing this, that it's gotten to the point where many words in kanji we don't even have to think about to read. You know like those emails we've all received (multiple times) that say,
"Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe."
Whether or not the above is true, there are definitely a surprising number of words in Japanese we have come to be able to read without really looking at the kanji. The result?
We can't write them at all. ^_^

I also realized today that my speaking has improved much more than I thought. I didn't prepare at all for the interview portion of the exam (I normally write out a response to every possible question) but managed to get in there and chat with Suzuki-sensei for nearly 20 minutes (it's supposed to be 10min per person... oops!). I like to think she was just happy to see that my speaking had improved and not that I was talking her ear off. Part of it is that when I stop talking, she sits and smiles at me in silence for a while, and I always interpret this as a sign that I need to talk some more. Ah well. *shrugs*

And while we're on the subject of savouring small accomplishments, I wrote an email to the ITO Foundation in Japanese today without looking anything up. The reply that came back used two exclamation points to say my Japanese was improving surprisingly fast. So, thank you, ITO Foundation. Apparently your money is not going to waste.

On a little less upbeat note, the end-of-term/post-exam party was cancelled. We all made a mistake, and so Suzuki-sensei felt it was necessary. I can't say I'm too surprised or upset. Seems perfectly reasonable to me. I hope she doesn't feel too responsible though. She certainly can't have foreseen it.

So... next on the agenda? That darn paper. And I believe Chris plans to distribute demos this weekend. It will be interesting to see what (if any) responses we get. There are a few new pictures up on the myspace page from this month's Live... if you're interested. I realized that every time we've performed, I've managed to wear a NY t-shirt of some sort. Totally unintentional. In fact, I feel rather lame. Apparently, I haven't changed *that* much since high school - I just wear NY shirts instead of Star Wars shirts all the time. ^_~

４００字

Can I learn 400 kanji in one night? Actually, it's worse than that. Supposing each kanji has *only* two readings, that's sort of like learning 800, right? Though I may know half the readings already, so we're back down to 400. Thank goodness there's no writing kanji on tomorrow's test. (I bombed the writing kanji part of today's test. Oops. But, judging from Suzuki-sensei's remarks in last period today, I was not alone.)

I really wanted to maintain my record of straight As from last quarter, but at this point... I just want it to be over!

The worst is yet to come

Two more full days of tests left. I am trying very very hard not to think about all the material I need to review (or, in British, "revise"), or I'll freak out.

Today I skipped first period to conserve energy (slept 12 hours last night; I think it helped). My group finally performed our Churasan skit at the beginning of third period. Maybe it didn't blow as much as I thought, cos we definitely got a good number of laughs. Whenever I take part in things like this (i.e. skits or readings - re: don quixote), I think I end up more successful at it than I ever expect. Of course it helps to have the lines memorized so I can actually concentrate on *playing* a character... in any case, it was fun, and Suzuki-sensei seemed dumbfounded. I think I can easily say that everyone's skits (all four groups') were way better/more entertaining than the original dorama on which they were (very loosely) based.

Got an email from Prof Bourdaghs about the draft I handed in last week. It was only like half a paper, but the thing was expanding ridiculously, so there was no way I was going to finish it... and it's probably good I didn't, because now he's like "focus on these things and READ ALL THESE BOOKS." When am I going to do this? I'm not sure, but I guess I'd better figure out something fast as I only have 'til March 3rd.

And now, back to Japanese...

My timing: impeccable

Sick.

Man. Just the other week I was marvelling at how I'd only been sick once my whole time here.
It isn't too bad... yet. I'm taking the rest of the class day off to make sure it doesn't get worse (especially since all day tomorrow are individual presentations, and we're supposed to watch everyone else's besides just doing our own).
Of *course* I would get sick the crazy week of tests. 'Slike when I had mono during my freshman year. What a way to memorialize the first final exams of your college career.

P.S. One group member didn't show up for skits this morning (which is why I went to class at all). Someone said she wouldn't miss unless she were hospitalized or something so I hope she's okay, but still... 困ったね。This means our skit is moved to Wednesday. le sigh. The only positive about this is that by Wednesday Sensei-tachi might forget how good everyone else's skits were today... since ours blows in comparison.

P.P.S. Got an email from Ueda-sensei at Princeton in response to a request for recommendations. She of course knows Professor Bourdaghs (of postpoop). She said that he told her I'm taking his class and that I'm "thriving in Japan!!" [quoted as quoted in her email, exclamation points and everything] Yay!! I really enjoyed Professor Bourdaghs' class. Other kids complained about the amount and difficult of reading (which was nothing compared to Ueda-sensei's classes), but, even with that, I knew from their comments outside of class (which a few of them made to me) that they really enjoyed and got a lot out of the class too. I think he did an excellent job of pushing ICU students to think and explore, and of teaching the material in a clear, understandable way for people who had never encountered it before.

P.P.S. I'm probably the last to know about this, but look what I found!

Culinary art

I finally used one of the packages of pancake mix my mother sent me way back. (Thanks, Mother!) It was a just-add-water mix, and I don't have any grease or anything so, even though my no-stick pan is *amazing* (my sister can attest to that), the pancakes were less than pretty. (I know Fuji's going to get a kick out of this.)

I ate them dry (I've eaten pancakes dry for a while now, maybe a little butter, but definitely no syrup *blech*) and, unfortunately, cold, as they cooled really quickly once I set them on the plate in the unheated kitchen. But they were still quite yummy. ^_^

As for my "real" cooking skills... Chris stopped by Friday evening to return my notebook to me. I was in the process of cooking up some spinach and rice. This means putting rice in the rice cooker and, once it's done, going to the stove with fresh spinach leaves, one egg, a little bit of soy sauce and vinegar, turmeric, red chili, and black pepper. I basically stir-fry the spinach (only with vinegar and soy sauce, not oil) then scramble in the egg. Pretty simple; pretty quick. I don't see any point in cooking elaborately or *well* when I'm the only one eating. Anyway, the point is that Chris knocked on the door, I opened it, and the first thing he said was "Ooh! It smells good in here." ^_^ Sure made me feel warm and fuzzy. And proud that I can take care of myself like a grown-up, buying groceries and cooking edible food and all that. So hah! Take that, Fuji. ^_^

As decent as my cooking is though, I sure do miss my parents'... or well, pretty much anything more involved or elaborate than my own. But I suppose children will always miss their parents' cooking...

Timtam

食べ過ぎちゃった　＞＜

Gaaahh!

Had a Live today. It went alright I think. Some people were bobbing their heads. And Suzuki-sensei and Hill-sensei even came. Guess we'll find out tomorrow what they thought. Had some problems with the mic stand, and Stu at one point accidentally pulled his lead out, but I think we recovered just fine. Phil took some pictures. I can't believe I'm saying this, but... I feel fat. :-(

If you look to the right, you'll see that our sensei (plural) decided to cram everything into the last week... thus the title of this entry.
*panic*
Plus, by tomorrow I'm supposed to turn in a draft of my paper for Postpoop (so far I have about 9 pages out of 12-15), *and* I'm supposed to have read 157 pages of Iwabuchi... I've only read 50. And it's not like I haven't been working! Ask Suzuki-sensei! She thinks I'm *always* working. It's just that I haven't been very productive. :-( Just not feeling particularly smart these days.

And today, after the Live, it's hard to get started... but I really really need to, before I dig myself an even bigger hole. bwahhhh

4:25am

Yes. Four Frickin' Twenty-Five A M.
I was woken up (awoken? awaked?) by the dreadful "It's a Small World" Alarm Clock next door.

Since then the neighbour's "It's a small world" alarm clock has gone off THREE TIMES.
I want to smash through the wall and 天罰 [tenbatsu] (divine punishment) しよう！ First I'd pick up the offending clock and throw it out the window... hard... Hopefully it would shatter satisfyingly into a million pieces on the pavement below. (Although, with my luck, it would continue to sing and smile at me in pieces... like in a bad horror movie.) And then, if I'm able to restrain myself from strangling him/her, at least work up a good sweat beating the stuffing out of my neighbor with his/her own pillow.

It is now 4:43am. The clock is going off *AGAIN.*

*muffled screams of frustration*
Hell hath no fury like this woman awakened...
unpleasantly...
repeatedly...
by the worst, most obnoxious, most ridiculous song ever written.
Curse this country and its incomprehensible fascination with all things Disney.

4:48am. (Yes, it's playing again.)

On being female

It amuses me to no end how when one buys feminine products here, the cashier wraps it in something opaque before packing it in with all one's other purchases.

Can't decide if this is good or not. On one hand, growing up I was always embarrassed about buying feminine products, so for people like that, it's great. On the other hand, it's a perfectly natural part of being human, and people should learn to be comfortable with it.

Oh, Happy Valentine's Day by the way.

Awwww...

If you're in the Princeton area, go support the Juggling Club Feb 23-25. Buy your tickets ($2) for Juggleman! before it sells out!

Today

We did role-plays in Japanese class. Ezaki-sensei asked if I was a man. ^_^
Thing is, speaking in an ungendered way is wrong too. It sounds unnatural and harsh to Japanese listeners.
Can't win.

I asked a Korean classmate if she knew MC the Max (Jae's current band), and she said they're quite famous. I mean, I guessed as much from the MTV Korea link below, but... still. It's weird to meet someone who actually knows of them and can tell me from her daily experience that they're well known. Well, I'm glad they're doing well. I hope he's happy.

Got a letter from Tammy. ^_^ She's having some really amazing experiences and doing amazing things. I'm so proud of her, love the person she has become.

Musings

Whatever happened to Jae?
*sigh* :-(

More stupid stuff I think when I should be thinking about work

What if Lucy Lawless had never happened to become Xena? o_O

To elaborate

I've started readingJapundit (it's no Gothamist, but I supposed it'll do), and today there was a link to an article on Japanese sexual "practice." I know the phrase "Japanese sexual practice" brings all sorts of images to mind (*ahem* Fuji), so read the article before you continue reading this blog entry.

The reason I bring it up is not only because the information is shocking (and yes, I realize not everyone in Japan has such an unhealthy attitude toward sex but... only 45 times a year!?!), but also because I find the *approach* of the article itself disturbing. Obviously there are physical dangers/issues to consider, but... forget unhealthy attitudes about sex, what about unhealthy attitudes about relationships?! For a society that's supposedly "group-oriented," they don't seem too terribly interested in interacting with each other, do they?

Dr. Kitamura's concern is somewhat related to the falling birthrate. After all, you can't make babies without having (successful) sex (well, you can, but it's much more expensive than the traditional method). But maybe Japan's current population problem isn't just related to sexual practice (and employment practice - apparently many career women opt not to have children because they could essentially be fired for it... or be penalized some other way). Seems pretty clear to me that if people aren't interested in interacting with each other, they aren't going to want to interact with children, even if they're their own (actually this is depicted fairly often in contemporary literature - the family that doesn't exist/never existed, the absent parents, etc). To be honest, I wouldn't want to bring a child into a world where people have such attitudes anyway.

Kitamura doesn't really address this issue. He mentions it as a possible cause, but he doesn't say it's unhealthy behaviour. If you can give me an argument for the inability and lack of desire to interact with people being *healthy,* I'll... not give you a hug. I guess it brings into question what exactly the role of a doctor is but, if he deals with domestic violence, his concerns can't be solely physical. Besides, how is telling someone who prefers masturbation to intercourse nothing more than "too much masturbation will inhibit your physical ability to have successful intercourse" going to encourage him to change his habits?

And can I just say that Kitamura's claim about marriage at 14/15 is *ridiculous.* People in developed countries don't do that (for the most part), but they aren't as badly off as Japan... as far as I've heard. Besides, what, is he advocating marriage at 14/15?! Hmm... I guess it would be better than enjo kosai. Oh, I definitely want this guy advising my friends and family and me, not to mention training people. (Yes, that's sarcasm.)

I've been doing reading for my post-poop paper, and... it's getting very hard to maintain perspective. Because the more I read, the more I'm convinced that Japan today is really really messed up. Okay, to be fair, I think people everywhere are messed up, but my impression is that no one (at least no one in power in Japan) is doing anything productive.

I think everyone needs a great big, long, squeezey hug. And then maybe they'd remember how good it feels to *know* people.
That's one of the (few) things I've loved about my schooldays. I remember in middle school, there was a group of kids (I wasn't a "member," just on the periphery) who always hugged whenever one met another in the hallway. Always. It became such a visible practice that the school "outlawed" hugging. The thing was that these were kids who were "misfits" in some way, and looking back it makes perfect sense. They hugged because they lived day-to-day feeling that they may never see each other again. And they hugged because they needed to feel loved, maybe in order to love themselves. I think that was terribly important, particularly as it was middle school, and who likes himself in middle school? I remember becoming friends with Stefanie, and I remember being surprised and not knowing how to react at first when she touched me. But soon it became one of my favourite things about her, and I still owe her a great deal of gratitude for opening up my mind and my eyes to the healing and therapeutic nature of physical contact. So now while I'm in this hug deficient, loving, contentedly nostalgic state of mind, I would like to share (in no particular order) some of my favourite physical memories of friends:

• Stefanie - the way she would pet me under the chin; her hand on my shoulder as we bridesmaids helped her into her wedding dress


• Sasha (of course) - squealing "Sasha!" *every* time I saw him and being abruptly swept off the ground in a lung-crushing hug


• Darren - leaning into each other on the sofa, many different sofas; walking arm-in-arm, like that evening he returned from the SVC trip; sleeping side-by-side on the rooftop in Chicago


• Don - the way one arm wrapped all the way around my waist; being thrown over his shoulder


• Alex - the Master of Hugs, such that I could feel his heart beating and veins pulsing with blood


• Tammy - holding hands/hugging, as children, as adults, as sisters every time we meet


• Joy - possessively, protectively holding me close whenever we'd go out; clinging to my leg whenever she did something "wrong"


• Aileen - her having to bend down and me having to stand on tiptoe for hugs


• Benton - the sensation of mass and energy transmitted through any kind of physical contact; playing with his hair


• Deepa - holding hands so we wouldn't lose each other in the crowd; sharing the bed in the guest room at her parents' house


• Rebecca - dancing togther at her birthday party, my hand on the curve of her back; studying while lying with my head on her stomach


• Fuji - falling asleep on him after Poker; poking each other's fat ^_^

End.

I'm suffering

from hug deficiency.

There isn't really anyone here I feel too physically comfortable with, but even so...
how do people here survive/get by with so little (i.e. no) physical contact?
Hideto read the label on my Gund ("The World's Most Huggable") and laughed. All he could imagine was a child hugging a doll.

I find it sad. :-(

Meditation on the nature of "Gentleman"

So there's this kid in my Japanese class - he likes beer, he likes women, he wants "to see you drunk," he likes calling things he doesn't like or doesn't understand "gay,"

and he desperately wants to be a gentleman.

This word first came up at the end-of-term party last term, where Koumatsu-sensei, on seeing him drink so much and be himself, admitted that her image of him had changed. In class she had thought he looked/seemed like a "gentleman" (yes, that's the word she used), but now it was clear he wasn't. I think it's fair to say he was heartbroken, and it's been an issue ever since.

Then why, WHY if he so desperately wants to be a gentleman does he declare that his favourite kind of movie is porn and insult other people's ideas and interests? Why does he do and enjoy things that he's ashamed to admit to people (i.e. sensei)?

Maybe I just don't understand what "gentleman" means. Apparently it has more to do with wearing lavendar sweaters and playing tennis than it has to do with rational, mature behaviour. And apparently as a gentleman it's okay to objectify women... as long as you let them walk through the door first.

雪だるま [yuki daruma] (snowman)

In an email from the ITO Foundation: